تَنـْمِيَةُ الذَّكـاءِ الاجتِمَاعِيِّ عِنْدَ الأَبـْنَاءِ :Developing social intelligence in children

Al Quran is the final Holy Book revealed upon the Last of Prophets Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH). The Quran & Sunnah is the only source of holy guidance as it entails detailed instructions for each and every walk of human life. Here guidance from Quran for the followers of Islam (تَنـْمِيَةُ الذَّكـاءِ الاجتِمَاعِيِّ عِنْدَ الأَبـْنَاءِ :Developing social intelligence in children) is discussed wrt providing support to children in social development for better living from Quran and Hadith of Prophet ﷺ. This is an approved Jumma Khutba from the Sultanate of Oman and translated in English.

بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ

In the name of ALLAH, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

تَنـْمِيَةُ الذَّكـاءِ الاجتِمَاعِيِّ عِنْدَ الأَبـْنَاءِ

Developing social intelligence in children

Praise be to ALLAH, who created man and perfected his craftsmanship, and placed within him intelligence to discern his path. I bear witness that there is no god but ALLAH alone, without partner. He has bestowed upon His servants the blessing of eloquence and placed within them the secret of understanding and perfection. I bear witness that Muhammad, peace be upon him, is His servant and Messenger, the highest of people in character, and the most truthful in word and deed. May ALLAH’s ’s prayers and peace be upon him, upon his family, his companions, and upon all who follow his approach until the Day of Judgment. This is the translation of the recited verses from Surah As Shaluara:

أَمَّا بَعْدُ، فاعوذ باللہ من الشیطان الرجیم- بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم

ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَنِى فَهُوَ يَہۡدِينِ (٧٨) وَٱلَّذِى هُوَ يُطۡعِمُنِى وَيَسۡقِينِ (٧٩) وَإِذَا مَرِضۡتُ فَهُوَ يَشۡفِينِ (٨٠) وَٱلَّذِى يُمِيتُنِى ثُمَّ يُحۡيِينِ (٨١) وَٱلَّذِىٓ أَطۡمَعُ أَن يَغۡفِرَ لِى خَطِيٓـَٔتِى يَوۡمَ ٱلدِّينِ (٨٢) رَبِّ هَبۡ لِى حُڪۡمً۬ا وَأَلۡحِقۡنِى بِٱلصَّـٰلِحِينَ (٨٣) وَٱجۡعَل لِّى لِسَانَ صِدۡقٍ۬ فِى ٱلۡأَخِرِينَ (٨٤) وَٱجۡعَلۡنِى مِن وَرَثَةِ جَنَّةِ ٱلنَّعِيمِ (٨٥) وَٱغۡفِرۡ لِأَبِىٓ إِنَّهُ ۥ كَانَ مِنَ ٱلضَّآلِّينَ (٨٦) وَلَا تُخۡزِنِى يَوۡمَ يُبۡعَثُونَ (٨٧) يَوۡمَ لَا يَنفَعُ مَالٌ۬ وَلَا بَنُونَ (٨٨) إِلَّا مَنۡ أَتَى ٱللَّهَ بِقَلۡبٍ۬ سَلِيمٍ۬ (٨٩) وَأُزۡلِفَتِ ٱلۡجَنَّةُ لِلۡمُتَّقِينَ (٩٠) وَبُرِّزَتِ ٱلۡجَحِيمُ لِلۡغَاوِينَ (٩١)

Surah Al Shuara – 78-91

"Who has created me, and it is He Who guides me; (78) "And it is He Who feeds me and gives me to drink (79) "And when I am ill, it is He who cures me; (80) "And Who will cause me to die, and then will bring me to life (again); (81) "And Who, I hope will forgive me my faults on the Day of Recompense, (the Day of Resurrection)," (82) My Lord! Bestow Hukm (religious knowledge, right judgement of the affairs and Prophethood) on me, and join me with the righteous, (83) And grant me an honourable mention in later generations. (84) And make me one of the inheritors of the Paradise of Delight. (85) And forgive my father, verily he is of the erring. (86) And disgrace me not on the Day when (all the creatures) will be resurrected; (87) The Day whereon neither wealth nor sons will avail, (88) Except him who brings to Allâh a clean heart [clean from Shirk (polytheism) and Nifâq (hypocrisy)]. (89) And Paradise will be brought near to the Muttaqûn (pious and righteous persons - see V.2:2). (90) And the (Hell) Fire will be placed in full view of the erring. (91)

Surah Al Shuara – 78-91

O servants of ALLAH: Fear ALLAH and Adopt piety and obey Allah. ALLAH says in Surah Al Hashar

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَلۡتَنظُرۡ نَفۡسٌ۬ مَّا قَدَّمَتۡ لِغَدٍ۬‌ۖ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ‌ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ خَبِيرُۢ بِمَا تَعۡمَلُونَ

O you who believe! Fear Allâh and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has sent forth for the tomorrow, and fear Allâh. Verily, Allâh is All-Aware of what you do.

Surah Al Hashr – 18

O believers: In an age characterized by the diversity of social communication and its means, it has become necessary that we guide our children toward developing their skills and enhancing their social intelligence. Social intelligence is the ability to understand others and interact with them effectively. For this to be achieved, communication skills must be expanded to enhance the ability to build relationships, so that the Muslim remains capable of giving and transcends the discourse of the people of whims. ALLAH, the Lord of the earth and the heavens, says in Surah Al Furqan:

وَعِبَادُ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلَّذِينَ يَمۡشُونَ عَلَى ٱلۡأَرۡضِ هَوۡنً۬ا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ ٱلۡجَـٰهِلُونَ قَالُواْ سَلَـٰمً۬ا

And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (Allâh) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness.

Surah Al Furqan – 63

The ability to control oneself when addressing the ignorant is only attained by those who have trained themselves to have the best skills and best abilities in communicating with all groups.

Dear Muslims: There is no doubt that developing social intelligence skills in children enables them to build healthy relationships with their peers and members of their community. All of this leads to a sense of belonging to society, which in turn enables them to strive for its improvement and reform. The first step in developing this skill is to encourage them to engage in dialogue and involve them in expressing their opinions without harshness or severity. ALLAH Almighty says in Surah Aal E Imran:

فَبِمَا رَحۡمَةٍ۬ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمۡ‌ۖ وَلَوۡ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ ٱلۡقَلۡبِ لَٱنفَضُّواْ مِنۡ حَوۡلِكَ‌ۖ فَٱعۡفُ عَنۡہُمۡ وَٱسۡتَغۡفِرۡ لَهُمۡ وَشَاوِرۡهُمۡ فِى ٱلۡأَمۡرِ‌ۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمۡتَ فَتَوَكَّلۡ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ‌ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُتَوَكِّلِينَ ۖ

And by the Mercy of Allâh, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harsh¬hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allâh's) Forgiveness for them; and consult them in the affairs. Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allâh, certainly, Allâh loves those who put their trust (in Him).

Surah Aal E Imran – 159

Seyyedina Ibn Umar, may ALLAH be pleased with him, said: “We were with the Messenger of ALLAH, and he said: ‘Tell me about a tree that is like a Muslim man. Its leaves do not fall and it produces its fruit all the time.’” Seyyedina Ibn e Umar, may ALLAH be pleased with him said: “It occurred to me that it was the palm tree, and I saw Seyyedina Abu Bakr and Umar, may ALLAH be pleased with them both, not speaking, so I hated to speak. When they did not say anything, the Messenger of ALLAH said: ((It is the palm tree)), so when we got up, I said to Seyyedina Umar: O my father, I swear upon ALLAH, it had occurred to me that it was the palm tree. He said: What prevented you from speaking? He said: I did not see you speaking, so I hated to speak or say anything. Seyyedina Umar said: For you to have said it is dearer to me than such and such.

O servants of ALLAH, is a sublime example that demonstrates the importance of involving children in the speech of adults sometimes, so that they may learn what is beneficial, and their minds may mature so that they may become people of sound judgment. Indeed, it is not appropriate for an educator to make his children feel that their minds are small, or to describe them as having few qualifications or a weak cognitive level.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) respected the opinions of young people in the presence of adults, in order to strengthen their confidence and ignite the torches of wisdom and good choice of words. Seyyedina Sahl ibn Sa`d (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “A drink was brought to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and he drank from it, while a young boy was on his right and the elderly were on his left. He said to the boy: “Do you permit me to give them to these people?” The boy said: “By God, O Messenger of ALLAH, I will not give my share of you to anyone.” The Messenger of ALLAH rolled it up in his hand, meaning he placed it in his hand. In this incident, we find that the Messenger of ALLAH directed us to care for everyone's rights. Asking permission from a child is a way to preserve his rights, and asking to give up his role to the adults is a way to respect their rights. When he found the child was adamant about his opinion, he granted it to him without reprimand or harshness.

So fear Allah, O servants of Allah, and understand your children’s inner feelings well, and strive to correct their words and actions, for this is the practice of your Prophet and the command of your Lord.

أقولُ مَا تَسْمَعُونَ، وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ العَظِيمَ لِي وَلَكُمْ، فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ يَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ، إِنَّهُ هُوَ الغَفُورُالرَّحِيمُ، وَادْعُوهُ يَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ، إِنَّهُ هُوَ البَرُّ الكَرِيمُ

I say what you hear, and I ask forgiveness from God Almighty for me and for you, so ask forgiveness from Him and He will forgive you, for He is the Forgiving and Merciful, and pray to Him and He will answer you, for He is The noble righteousness

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الحَمْدُ للهِ اللَّطِيفِ بِعِبَادِهِ، وَنَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، وَنَشْهَدُ أَنَّ سَيِّدَنَا مُحَمَّدًا رَسُولُ اللهِ الحَلِيمُ، صَلَوَاتُ اللهِ وَسَلامُهُ عَلَيْهِ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَأَصْحَابِهِ أَهْلِ الفَضَائِلِ وَالتَّكْرِيمِ

Praise be to ALLAH, the Kind to His servants. We bear witness that there is no god but ALLAH alone, without partner, and we bear witness that our master Muhammad, peace be upon him, is the Messenger of ALLAH, the Forbearing. May the prayers and peace of ALLAH be upon him and upon his family and companions, the people of virtue and honor.

O servants of ALLAH: The Prophet, peace be upon him, used to engage with children in conversations that would attract their attention and soften the relationship with them. He would sometimes choose topics that would touch their interests. Seyyedina Anas ibn Malik, may ALLAH be pleased with him, tells us that his brother Abu Umair used to raise a bird that he would become attached to and play with. When the Prophet,peace be upon him, came and saw Abu Umair, he started a conversation with him about his bird. Seyyedina Anas said: “The Messenger of ALLAH had the best character among people. Later, whenever the Messenger of ALLAH came and saw him, he would say: ‘Abu Umair, what happened to the little bird?’ So he would play with it.”

Parents' commitment to good dialogue and good treatment of people makes their children observe and emulate them. Our children are nothing but vessels that we fill daily with what they see us do and what they hear from us about people and with people. ALLAH says in Surah Al Isra:

وَقُل لِّعِبَادِى يَقُولُواْ ٱلَّتِى هِىَ أَحۡسَنُ‌ۚ

And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of Islâmic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are the best.

Surah Al Isra – 53-Part

Our children's words are adorned with goodness, and if our actions are in accordance with our Lord's command, and our children follow our example, we will all attain a dignified life in this world and the Hereafter. ALLAH Almighty says in Surah An Nahl:

مَنۡ عَمِلَ صَـٰلِحً۬ا مِّن ذَڪَرٍ أَوۡ أُنثَىٰ وَهُوَ مُؤۡمِنٌ۬ فَلَنُحۡيِيَنَّهُ ۥ حَيَوٰةً۬ طَيِّبَةً۬‌ۖ وَلَنَجۡزِيَنَّهُمۡ أَجۡرَهُم بِأَحۡسَنِ مَا ڪَانُواْ يَعۡمَلُونَ

Whoever works righteousness, whether male or female, while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islâmic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter).

Surah An Nahl – 97

So fear ALLAH, O servants of ALLAH, and let each one of us keep before his eyes the words of ALLAH Almighty۔ ALLAH says in Surah Al Israa

وَلَا تَقۡفُ مَا لَيۡسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلۡمٌ‌ۚ إِنَّ ٱلسَّمۡعَ وَٱلۡبَصَرَ وَٱلۡفُؤَادَ كُلُّ أُوْلَـٰٓٮِٕكَ كَانَ عَنۡهُ مَسۡـُٔولاً۬

And follow not (O man i.e., say not, or do not or witness not) that of which you have no knowledge. Verily! The hearing, and the sight, and the heart, of each of those one will be questioned (by Allâh).

Surah Al Isra – 36

هَذَا وَصَلُّوا وَسَلِّمُوا عَلَى إمَامِ الْمُرْسَلِينَ؛ مُحَمَّدٍ الهَادِي الأَمِينِ، فَقَدْ أَمَرَكُمْ رَبكُمْ بذَلكَ حينَ قَالَ

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ وَمَلَـٰٓٮِٕڪَتَهُ ۥ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى ٱلنَّبِىِّۚ يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ صَلُّواْ عَلَيۡهِ وَسَلِّمُواْ تَسۡلِيمًا

Surah Al Ahzaab – 56

So pray and send peace upon the leader of the messengers, Muhammad, the guide and trustworthy. Your Lord has commanded you to do so when He said: “Indeed, Allah and His angels send blessings upon the Prophet. O you who have believed, send blessings upon him and salute him with a worthy salutation.”

He says in Surah Al Ahzab: ALLAH and His kingdom send blessings upon the Prophet. O you who have believed, pray upon him and grant him peace.

Surah Al Ahzaab – 56

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ وسَلِّم عَلَى نَبِيِّنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِ نَبِيِّنَا مُحَمَّدٍ، كَمَا صَلَّيْتَ وسَلَّمتَ عَلَى نَبِيِّنَا إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَعَلَى آلِ نَبِيِّنَا إِبْرَاهِيمَ، وَبَارِكْ عَلَى نَبِيِّنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِ نَبِيِّنَا مُحَمَّدٍ كَمَا بَارَكْتَ عَلَى نَبِيِّنَا إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَعَلَى آلِ نَبِيِّنَا إِبْرَاهِيمَ فِي الْعَالَمِينَ، إِنَّكَ حَمِيدٌ مَجِيدٌ، وَارْضَ اللَّهُمَّ عَنْ خُلَفَائِهِ الرَّاشِدِينَ، وَعَنْ أَزْوَاجِهِ أُمَّهَاتِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَعَنْ سَائِرِ الصَّحَابَةِ أَجْمَعِينَ، وَعَنِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتِ، وعَنْ جَمْعِنَا هَذَا بِرَحْمَتِكَ يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِينَ

O ALLAH, bless and grant peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon the family of our Prophet Muhammad, as You prayed and peace upon our Prophet Abraham and upon the family of our Prophet Abraham, and bless our Prophet Muhammad and the family of our Prophet Muhammad, just as You blessed our Prophet Abraham and the family of our Prophet Abraham in the worlds. Indeed, You are Praiseworthy and Glorious. And be pleased, O Allah, with his Rightly Guided Caliphs, and with his wives, the Mothers of the Believers, and with all the rest of the Companions, and with the believing men and women, and with this gathering of ours, by Your mercy, O Most Merciful of the merciful.

اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْ جَمْعَنَا هَذَا جَمْعًا مَرْحُوْمًا، وَاجْعَلْ تَفَرُّقَنَا مِنْ بَعْدِهِ تَفَرُّقًا مَعْصُوْمًا وَلا تَدَعْ فِينَا وَلا مَعَنَا شَقِيًّا وَلا مَحْرُومًا

Oh ALLAH, make this gathering of us a merciful gathering, and make our separation after it an infallible separation, and do not leave among us or with us any wretched or deprived.

اللَّهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَاهْدِ الْمُسْلِمِينَ إِلَى الْحَقِّ، وَاجْمعْ كَلِمَتَهُمْ عَلَى الخَيْرِ، وَاكْسِرْ شَوْكَةَ الظَّالِمِينَ، وَاكْتُبِ السَّلامَ وَالأَمْنَ لِعِبادِكَ أَجْمَعِينَ

Oh ALLAH, honor Islam, guide Muslims to the truth, unite their words in goodness, break the power of the oppressors, and grant peace and security to your servants. All of them.

اللَّهُمَّ كُنْ عَوْنًا لإِخْوَانِنَا فِي أَرْضِ الأَقْصَى المُبَارَكِ، وَكُنْ مَعَهُمْ وَثَبِّـتْهُمْ وَارْبِطْ عَلَى قُلُوبِهِمْ وَصَبِّرْهُمْ، وَاخْذُلْ عَدُوَّكَ وَعَدُوَّهُمْ، وَاجْعَلِ الدَّائِرَةَ عَلَيْهِ يَا ذَا الجَلالِ وَالإِكْرَامِ

O Allah, be a helper to our brothers in the blessed land of Al-Aqsa, be with them, strengthen them, strengthen their hearts, and grant them patience. Disappoint Your enemy and their enemy, and turn the tables on him, O Possessor of Majesty and Honor.

اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ الثَّباتَ فِي الأَمْرِ، وَالعَزِيمَةَ عَلَى الرُّشْدِ، ونَسْأَلُكَ شُكْرَ نِعْمَتِكَ، وَحُسْنَ عِبَادَتِكَ، ونَسْأَلُكَ قُلُوبًا سَلِيمةً وأَلْسِنةً صَادِقةً، ونَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ خَيْرِ مَا تَعْلَمُ، وَنعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا تَعْلَمُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُكَ لِمَا تَعْلَمُ

O Allah, we ask You for steadfastness in our affairs and determination to do what is right. We ask You for gratitude for Your blessings and proper worship of You. We ask You for sound hearts and truthful tongues. We ask You for the best of what You know and seek refuge in You from the worst of what You know. We seek Your forgiveness for what You know.

اللَّهُمَّ يَا حَيُّ يَا قَيُّومُ يَا ذَا الجَلالِ وَالإِكْرَامِ، لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ سُبْحَانَكَ بِكَ نَستَجِيرُ وَبِرَحْمَتِكَ نَستَغِيثُ أَلاَّ تَكِلَنَا إِلَى أَنفُسِنَا طَرفَةَ عَينٍ، وَلاَ أَدنَى مِنْ ذَلِكَ وَأَصلِحْ لَنَا شَأْنَنَا كُلَّهُ يَا مُصلِحَ شَأْنِ الصَّالِحِينَ

Oh ALLAH, O Ever-Living, O Ever-Living, O Possessor of Majesty and Honour, there is no god but You, Glory be to You, by You we seek refuge and by Your mercy we seek help, that you will not leave us to Our souls are within the blink of an eye, and nothing is closer than that. And rectify for us all our affairs, O Reconciliator, the affairs of the righteous.

اللَّهُمَّ رَبَّنَا احْفَظْ أَوْطَانَنَا وَأَعِزَّ سُلْطَانَنَا وَأَيِّدْهُ بِالْحَقِّ وَأَيِّدْ بِهِ الْحَقَّ يَا رَبَّ العَالَمِينَ، اللَّهُمَّ أَسْبِغْ عَلَيْهِ نِعمَتَكَ، وَأَيِّدْهُ بِنُورِ حِكْمَتِكَ، وَسَدِّدْهُ بِتَوفِيقِكَ، وَاحفَظْهُ بِعَينِ رعَايَتِكَ

Oh ALLAH, our Lord, protect our countries, honor our authority, support it with the truth, and support it with the truth, O Lord of the worlds. Oh God, bestow your blessing upon him, Support it with the light of your wisdom, guide it with your blessings, and protect it with your care.

اللَّهُمَّ أَنْزِلْ عَلَيْنَا مِنْ بَرَكَاتِ السَّمَاء وَأَخْرِجْ لَنَا مِنْ خَيْرَاتِ الأَرْضِ، وَبَارِكْ لَنَا في ثِمَارِنَا وَزُرُوعِنَا وكُلِّ أَرزَاقِنَا يَا ذَا الْجَلالِ وَالإِكْرَامِ

O ALLAH, send down upon us from the blessings of the sky and bring forth for us from the goodness of the earth, and bless for us our fruits and our crops and all our provisions, O Possessor of Majesty and Generosity.

رَبَّنَا آتِنَا في الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفي الآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ

Our Lord, give us good in this world and good in the Hereafter and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.

اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالمُؤْمِنَات، المُسْلِمِينَ وَالمُسْلِمَات، الأَحْيَاءِ مِنْهُمْ وَالأَمْوَاتِ، إِنَّكَ سَمِيعٌ قَرِيبٌ مُجِيبُ الدُّعَاءِ

O ALLAH, forgive the believing men and women, the Muslim men and women, the living and the dead among them. Indeed, You are the All-Hearing, the Near, the Answerer of supplications.

عِبَادَ الله-

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَأۡمُرُ بِٱلۡعَدۡلِ وَٱلۡإِحۡسَـٰنِ وَإِيتَآىِٕ ذِى ٱلۡقُرۡبَىٰ وَيَنۡهَىٰ عَنِ ٱلۡفَحۡشَآءِ وَٱلۡمُنڪَرِ وَٱلۡبَغۡىِ‌ۚ يَعِظُكُمۡ لَعَلَّڪُمۡ تَذَكَّرُونَ

O servants of ALLAH - Indeed, ALLAH commands justice and good deeds, and bestows favor on relatives, and forbids indecency. And the denier and the transgressor admonish you that you may remember.

Surah An Nahl-90

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وآخر دعوانا ان الحمد للہ رب العالمین- سبحان ربک رب العزة عما يصفون، وسلام على المرسلين، والحمد لله رب العالمين