Life Story: The Cash of Time

أَعُوذُ بِاللّٰهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ

بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ

اللہ کے نام سے شروع جو بڑا مہربان نہایت رحم کرنے والا ہے

In the name of ALLAH, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

Life Story: The Cash of Time

" Life Story: The Cash of Time " is a deeply moving allegorical narrative following Raja Khalid Shareef on his 60th birthday, a day after retiring as Director General after 35 years of service. Awakened by a haunting dream based on Ibn-e-Insha's poetry, he embarks on a nostalgic journey through his childhood, his vibrant youth at Government Gordon College, Rawalpindi, and his successful career. Walking through the crowded lanes of Raja Bazar and his ancestral neighborhood, he reflects on the non-refundable "shelf life" of each phase of human existence and the grief of losing loved ones. Weaving in the profound philosophies of Mary Oliver, Lord Tennyson, and Divine Quranic wisdom, the story beautifully transforms the fear of death into a tranquil, graceful celebration of a life well-lived.

Today was Raja Khalid Shareef's sixtieth birthday. On this misty winter night, he sat alone in his study, reflecting upon the day's commotion and the endless stream of birthday wishes. Just a day prior, it had been his final day at a government office, where he had dedicated thirty-five long years of his life to service. Arranged upon the shelves and hanging on the walls of this room were countless certificates, testimonials of appreciation, and shining shields, looking like the weapons of some anonymous, forgotten battle. They silently narrated a story of hard work, devotion, and loyalty. Walking a single path for thirty-five years, he had never once realized that the chessboard of life was only this wide. Indeed, he had felt that reaching the rank of Director General of the department was an extraordinary feat. Amid this swarm of memories, his weary eyes grew heavy, and he drifted off to sleep right there in his armchair.

In the depths of his slumber, he heard the faint yet piercing voice of Ibn-e-Insha:

"When the cash of time expired, now we find ourselves in need of a loan.

Is there a banker who will step forward? Is there a lender who will bestow?

A few years, months, or days, O people! But without any interest or usury, O people!"

The lines of this poem pierced his soul like an arrow. He was gripped by a strange, profound, and terrifying feeling... Was he about to die? Had his turn finally come? At this trembling thought, his eyes snapped open.

November’s chill reigned over the room, yet his entire body was drenched in sweat from fear and anxiety. With a racing pulse, he stood up and looked out the window. From the womb of the dark night echoed the pure, serene call of the Fajr adhan. A thought resonated in his heart that he ought to pray; so, he performed ablution and offered his Fajr prayer on trembling feet. Yet, that dream, that poem, and the footfalls of death kept circling the canvas of his mind like a shadow. His sleep had vanished in a strange way, and the very walls of his room began to feel foreign.

To lighten the burden on his heart, he wrapped himself in a shawl, stepped out of the house, and his feet instinctively guided him toward the nearby park. Upon arriving, he was astonished. In the morning twilight, the universe was stretching, and life was being reborn in a brand-new form. People of almost every age had already arrived for their morning walk. Seeing this chirping carnival of life, his mind drifted away, traveling through the windows of the past to arrive at his childhood. One by one, all the stages of life he had crossed began to ripple before him as vivid recollections:-

1. The Innocent Currency of Childhood: Raja Khalid Shareef remembered his beautiful and blessed childhood. He remembered his mother, who would wake him up in the morning while reciting the Kalima. His childhood was the initial and most innocent phase of life's duration, directly succeeding infancy, when he stepped out of his mother's lap to discover the universe with wide-eyed wonder. Unhindered playtime, carefreeness, innocence, and simplicity—this was the "cash of time" of his childhood. He recalled holding his grandfather’s fingers and walking to the orchard near their home. In this very childhood, how he used to play all sorts of games with other children in the courtyard of his house and out in the street! Yet, once that childhood passed, those games were never played again. He thought that if a child cannot spend this currency of time according to its natural demands, the loss remains for the rest of their life. That innocence, simplicity, and carefreeness can never be reclaimed at any price. He felt his childhood had been beautiful and exquisite. In that childhood, he possessed all his revered relations; grandfather and grandmother, maternal grandparents, paternal uncles and aunts, maternal uncles and aunts, and age-mate companions, brothers, sisters, and cousins—everyone was there. His childhood was complete. In this very childhood, he had been admitted to school a bit late. The reason for this delay was his grandfather, who believed his beloved grandson was not yet ready for school and chose to teach him at home instead. He was finally sent to school at the age of six. Wrapped in these thoughts, he returned home, and by then, his heart had found peace; perhaps it was the effect of reliving his childhood.

1. The Fable of Boyhood: The next day, Raja Khalid Shareef went to drop his grandson off at school. The boy studied at a famous school in the area, and children were arriving from far and wide to study there. As usual, children were making mischief as they walked through the school gates. He began to recall the fable of his own boyhood. Sitting in his car, he watched those children. As the borders of childhood fade, boyhood begins. Now, the cash of this age also carried a unique worth, determined by the harmless follies and dreams of youth. He remembered how, after boyhood passed, that legendary era never returned. At the end of his boyhood, he had reached college. His school days had been the golden age of his life, where he had learned so much. School was not merely the name of learning from a teacher in a classroom; the playing field, the strolls along the verandas, the antics at the canteen, and the foundations of lifelong friendships were all the gifts of that boyhood and school life.Boyhood unfolded like a fable, reaching its climax as adolescence set in. "That first foolishness of love"—meaning that innocent crush on Reshmaan—lost its value, its charm, and its spontaneous conviction in later years. Reshmaan had caught his fancy for no particular reason; one day, as she was entering the school, his eyes fell upon her face, and she instantly won his heart. The foolishness of this age often ends abruptly with a stern reprimand from elders, but the story of Raja Khalid Shareef’s first folly is a tale for another time. He remembered that the companionships, circles, gatherings, and attachments of ages after childhood become dependent on logic, convenience, and calculated give-and-take. This was the very boyhood that his elders would throw back at him as a reprimand for a long time, saying, "Why are you talking like a child? Grow up now." By the time boyhood ended, it had left him with an identity within the neighborhood and surrounding area, where the proverb "Coming events cast their shadows before" revealed its truth.

1. The Grace of Youth and Memories of Gordon College: A week later, Raja Khalid Shareef received an invitation as a chief guest from his alma mater, Government Gordon College, where he had pursued his intermediate and degree education. He returned to his college for the first time in perhaps thirty-five years. Arriving there, he realized the true meaning of the grace of youth. Sitting on the stage, a thought crossed his mind: emerging from the naivety of boyhood, as he stepped into youth, innate talents were awakening, and energy was climbing toward its zenith. Hosting the dream of a beautiful future in his heart and mind, he too had arrived at this college in search of its fulfillment. At that time, he lived in a congested part of the city, in a small house that his grandfather had received after Partition. Today, he had arrived there from a large, personal bungalow located in a posh area of the city, while owning three other similar houses that he had rented out, upon the facade of which he had placed a plaque reading, "This is by the grace of my Lord. "His nephew was also studying at the college at that time and introduced him to his classmates before the ceremony. They were all young men of nineteen or twenty. Surrounded by them, a thought crossed his mind that man looks his most beautiful during this specific age, whether a boy or a girl. A credible reason for this was the lingering hue of childhood’s departing innocence. It resonated in his mind that during this age, he used to consider himself a hero in the style of Waheed Murad; copying Waheed Murad’s hairstyle was his hallmark of peak handsomeness. In the days of his youth, all educational institutions in his city were strictly segregated for men or women. Standing beside these young men in the college, he remembered many of his old friends and peers who felt that unless they caught a glimpse of their "Heer, Sohni, or Shireen" coming or going to college, the calculation of the rising and setting of the sun felt entirely meaningless. For most of them, that love was unrequited because whoever showed seriousness and sent a marriage proposal home discovered that the beloved was already betrothed and destined to depart for her groom's home even before the final exams. Those countless Ranjhas and Mahiwals were ultimately tied to the stakes of their parents' choices. Raja Khalid Shareef remembered the words of his teacher, who used to say, "Look for your destined girl in school." He had also said, "Remember, masculine beauty is exclusively the trait of this youthful age. As soon as you grow a bit older, you will remain merely a man, and she will become a Cleopatra." His teacher had also noted, "The powerful body of youth is not inherently a creator of grace. The expansion of boyhood’s 'first foolishness of love' should not spill into youth; and if it does, it must conclude within this very era. Carrying such folly beyond youth proves incredibly costly—akin to using a medicine past its shelf life after it has turned into poison. In Pakistani society, a vast majority of girls get married during this age and manage this milestone beautifully. "In the blink of an eye, a thought crossed Raja Khalid Shareef’s mind that the era of youth is the time for acquiring education and skill; for whichever of his companions showed seriousness in education or dedicated themselves to learning a trade during this age went on to live the remaining stages of life gracefully. In this ceremony, he made this very theme the subject of his speech, repeating the advice of his mentors. In his heart, he prayed for his teachers, realizing that somewhere within his heart and mind, his teachers were still very much alive.

1. The Peak Performance of Adulthood and the Farewell Dinner: A few days later, Raja Sahib received an invitation to a dinner in his honor from his former institution, and he attended along with his wife. Upon arrival, the young officers of the office surrounded him. Standing among these youths, a thought bloomed within Raja Khalid Shareef: the best expenditure of "life’s cash" manifests in the peak performance of adulthood. The freshness, radiance, and enthusiasm on the faces of these young people reminded him of the days when youth had embraced him, and he had proven fortunate. He remembered his grandfather saying, "Youth is wild—youth is the era of man's peak performance." If a human were viewed as a product, this is the phase where the item passes through its most effective and durable shelf life. During this age, physical strength, mental acumen, and resolve were robust, and society demanded productivity from him—and Raja Sahib had delivered exactly that. He was fortunate that upon completing his Master’s in English from college, he passed the public service examination and secured a job at the age of mere twenty-five. In the office, he had worked day and night, earning the appreciation of his superiors. As was the custom, the moment he stood on his own feet, his parents grew anxious for his future, and he was anchored to domestic life. Thus, as he stepped into the boundaries of adulthood, he was bound in the knot of marriage. Marriage is a profound and serious turning point in human civilization; it is the strongest anchor for the preservation of the human race and the cultural continuity of any nation, which is why it is celebrated with such grandeur across all societies. Raja Sahib’s wedding was also celebrated with great pomp and splendor.

The terrifying dream Raja Sahib had seen on the first night of his retired life had not faded from his mind. Life was moving forward each day, but Raja Sahib had not forgotten Ibn-e-Insha's words about "the cash of time." It resonated in his mind from time to time. That echo kept Raja Khalid Shareef restless. He was compelled to peer into his past. One day, he went to Raja Bazar. He used to visit this bazaar up until his youth, but perhaps since he started his job, he had never set foot there—mostly because going there had become nearly impossible due to how crowded it had become.

Visiting the bazaar, he saw that many companions from his old locality had now become affluent merchants, and their names held weight in the market. They had all entered this bazaar in their youth. Raja Khalid Shareef realized that youth was indeed the correct stage when elders wished to see their young ones shoulder the weight of life, and this was the stage where the maxim "Children are the future of the nation" transforms from a sapling into a robust tree, revealing its true form. What a nation can achieve in the race of life can be gauged entirely by the struggle and competence of its youth. This bazaar had been built and populated by the youths of thirty-five to forty years ago, and today, their children were stepping into their places. In the marketplace of life, the cash of time demands that youth engage in various walks of life according to their temperament, utilizing their energy and strength to propel themselves, their families, and their nation down the path of progress.

After his walk through the bazaar that day, Raja Khalid Shareef was reminded of his ancestral neighborhood. The very next day, he set out toward his old locality. Those narrow streets and human-laden neighborhoods had once been his entire life, but the moment he became a government servant, he had migrated to a posh area of the city—living in rented spaces initially, and later in his own home. He wandered through those lanes for several hours. Finally, he sat down for tea at a local Quetta hotel. Sitting there, he realized that though he had walked those streets for so long, he had not encountered a single familiar face, nor had anyone recognized him. How could this be? There was a time when every face was familiar and intimate; what had been lost that day to make him a stranger? He remembered that the last time he came here was ten years ago for the funeral of a friend's father, whose dying wish was that his body be carried out from his ancestral home. His friend's sons would visit their father, but they always returned to their modern homes. Raja Khalid Shareef’s father had also sold their ancestral home to come and live with him.

Sitting at the Quetta hotel that day, Raja Khalid Shareef realized that while "middle age bestows captaincy," it also increases responsibility. And if responsibility is not demonstrated, that captaincy and leadership amount to nothing. A thought bloomed in his mind that through thirty-five years of service, he had reached the turning point of "middle age," achieving the rank of Director General, yet he had become a stranger in his own ancestral neighborhood. As he sat at the Quetta hotel, a young man in his early forties approached him and said, "Khalid Bhai, what brings you here?" He was someone who had once lived in the alley of his ancestral home and still resided there today. He began to update him on the fates of those living in the other houses of the lane—who was where, what they did, and how they fared. From his conversation, Raja Khalid realized that the field of life does not always remain uniform, nor does the horse sprint at a constant speed. Life is a game, but it is not just a single game; its stages, milestones, and outcomes never remain identical.

Sitting in that spot, it occurred to Raja Khalid Shareef that in his own life, when the status of "middle age" began to slowly unveil the limits of his shelf life, a sober stillness settled over the graph of his performance. Intellect, capability, and experience became his identity. At that time, to keep oneself from faltering, one required greater care and wisdom, which he made mandatory for himself as he shouldered the weight of vital responsibilities. The currency of this age had manifested in the spirit of Iqbal’s verse: "If one is worthy, We bestow the glory of kings," presenting him as a seasoned "captain" of his sphere, where he left his distinct mark in the book of history.

1. Mature Age, Old Age, and the Endless Marketplace: Coming back from his ancestral area that day, Raja Khalid Shareef found a degree of solace. Now, "mature age or old age" was no longer a terror to him. He understood that old age is the final edge of the human shelf life, where the expiration date draws incredibly close. The physical limbs and mental faculties begin to fall short of their required performance criteria. Memory fades, bones weaken, and man becomes exactly like a medicine or food whose material efficacy has been exhausted. The only difference is that products on a store shelf have their manufacturing and expiration dates clearly printed on their labels, but Nature has kept the expiration date hidden on the packaging of man. We simply do not know how many coins of time remain in our pockets.After visiting his ancestral area and listening to the words of that young man, the final threshold of life was no longer a terrifying stage. Instead, a realization bloomed within him that "old age can be beautiful," and since death is inevitable and bound to arrive, why harbor fear? A thought arose in his heart: why not visit the grand Jamia mosque where he used to offer his Friday prayers from childhood through youth? Thus, the very next Friday, he arrived there. Following the prayers, he stepped out into the local bazaars of that area. A continuum of memories enveloped him. Within this tapestry of recollection, he observed that after the Friday prayers, shops were opening, crowds were swelling, and people were purchasing household provisions. He noticed some people holding a list in their hands as they shopped; they had undoubtedly come to gather the month's groceries. Nearby, outside a bank, he saw a long queue of people waiting to pay their electricity bills, each man managing a stack of papers, waiting for his turn—exactly how a human waits for their turn in life.

Walking along, Raja Khalid Shareef arrived at the very center of a mysterious and endless marketplace, where a shop was housed in an ancient mud structure. Sitting quietly on the raised platform of this shop was an old merchant of ninety or a hundred years, silently watching the children playing in the vast field stretching before him. Outwardly it looked like an ordinary shop, but its trade was different from any business in the cosmos. Written in faded letters upon its wooden door-leaf were the words: "Man's Shelf Life."

Beholding this sight, his inner world of wonder awakened, and it felt to him as though that old merchant was selling that very cash of time he had envisioned in his dream. There, he encountered his college companion who had joined the army and embraced martyrdom during a skirmish with the enemy. The martyred friend took his hand, sat him down beside him, and began to speak. He asked whether Raja Khalid had made the covenant and prayer of forty years of age? Raja Khalid was astonished and asked what that was. The friend explained that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has described it in the Holy Quran, in Surah Al-Ahqaf:-

"And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his bearing and weaning is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, 'My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have turned to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims.' Those are the ones from whom We will accept the best of what they did and overlook their misdeeds, [their being] among the companions of Paradise. [That is] the promise of truth which they had been promised." (Al-Ahqaf: 15, 16)

Raja Khalid Shareef had been unaware of this, so he shook his head. The martyred companion said, "Do it now; Allah is Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim, and He forgives oversights. Go ahead and make this prayer and covenant immediately." Raja Sahib instantly agreed, becoming prayerful and making the covenant. The moment he completed this act, the companion dissolved away into the crowd.

Then, as he wandered aimlessly, his mind became filled with profound reflections. It occurred to him that along this journey of life, when we reach old age and look back at the past, we realize that the heaviest price paid in spending this cash of time is saying goodbye to our loved ones. Whether it is a lifelong school companion or our own kin—their departure feels like nothing short of a personal apocalypse. Accepting the stark reality that they will never return is the most agonizing threshold for the human soul. Until this trauma robs us of someone who was an inseparable part of our daily existence, it feels as though loss is something that only happens to others, while we remain immune.

Yet, as our own allotted span—our shelf life on this planet—diminishes, a beautiful transformation takes place. Man learns to accept every kind of ending with a sense of peace and stillness that was absent before. There is no guarantee that we will walk this earth tomorrow, or that the currency of our breaths will last. This is an unvarnished truth from which there is no escape. Watching our loved ones depart one by one is the greatest lesson life imparts.

At this moment, Raja Khalid Shareef realized that, in a sense, one must be deeply grateful to those departed loved ones for teaching us how to live out our remaining days. Though they left behind a profound grief, they also bequeathed a radiant beacon that illuminates our inner darkness. The passing of a beloved brother or a dear one teaches a person to value the healing, gentleness, and empathy they left behind within us. This experience deepens our awareness of life’s fragile nature; one begins to love and celebrate the presence of every person encountered along the way, recognizing the splendid virtues that may have gracefully transitioned into our own being through the blessing of their company.

Here, the philosophy of life transcends fear and arrives at the sanctuary described by the American poet Mary Oliver in her poem "When Death Comes," where she writes:-

"I was a bride married to amazement..."

This line teaches us that when death arrives, if a person looks back, they should feel that their life was spent in a holy matrimony with a world of wonder, where their dignity and sanctity were fully upheld—just as a bride is cherished. It means a person leaves this earth having spent a beautiful, meaningful era rather than merely killing idle time. They face death not like a frightened traveler, but like a bride who established a deep, lifelong, and active relationship with wonder, curiosity, and passionate love. She did not come to this world merely to make a "brief visit" as a passive observer; rather, she was the groom who took the universe into her arms.

An almost identical message is found in the famous poem "Crossing the Bar" by the renowned English poet Alfred, Lord Tennyson. Upon the arrival of death, instead of fear or mourning, he desires a peaceful voyage across the waters, where there is no turbulent foam or the sad crying of farewells for those left behind. He hopes that when he crosses the boundary of this world (the sandbar) into the ocean of eternity, his ship will glide smoothly because he expects to see his "Pilot" (the Eternal Creator) face to face.

When the cash of time is near its end, a person should be filled not with lamentation and regret, but with the profound satisfaction of having lived every moment and every stage of life with its full beauty, its priceless follies, and its unique demands. For those who invest this capital in love, knowledge, and service to humanity, their physical shelf life may one day expire, but the legacy of their deeds will never grow old. They depart having celebrated their "wild and precious" life, fully accepting the reality of death—and that, truly, is the ultimate and most beautiful expenditure of the cash of time.

From that day on, Raja Khalid Shareef found old age beautiful, because the divine message of Surah An-Nahl, Verse 70, had finally become clear to him. In the verse, the Divine decree states:-

"And Allah created you; then He will take you in death. And among you is he who is reversed to the most decrepit [old] age so that he will not know, after [having had] knowledge, a thing. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Competent." (An-Nahl: 70)

In this verse, "Ardhal-ul-Umr" (the weakest or most decrepit age) refers to that stage of life following maturity when a person's physical and mental faculties begin to wane. According to many commentators of the Quran, a significant turning point toward "Ardhal-ul-Umr" begins after the age of forty, when a person's material strength starts to gradually decline. This is the time when man has already experienced the peak of his youth and vitality. Allah Almighty desires that man learn from these experiences and turn back toward Him. This verse imparts the lesson that there is divine wisdom in every stage of age, and it behooves us to remain engaged in the worship and gratitude of Allah at every turn of life, for the entire essence of the "cash of time" is devotion to Allah Almighty. This life is a borrowed moment; this earth is a testing ground, and man’s true home awaits in Paradise.