A True Love Is?

بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ

In the name of ALLAH, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

True Love Is?

True love isn't found. Rather, it's built. A strong romantic relationship is a labor of love.

The life is a continuous learning model and as we grow older we realize that the best kind of love expands us and engages us in building bridges between other souls. It doesn’t happen instantly and it doesn't fizzle out instantly. The love is like a farm land, a field, a flower bed that requires plough-ing throughout all stages of life to harvest beautiful flowers and fruits in the end of life.

 It’s the love that says:

“Go take your walk; and keep walking till it ends.”

“Go write your book; your story means a lot for yours loved one.”

“Go be quiet if that’s what you need to listen t yours inner self.”

The most sacred kind of love is the one that wants your wholeness more than your proximity. The kind that says, “Go become everything you’re meant to be, and if I’m part of that story, beautiful. If not, I’ll still be grateful I got to witness your growth.”

That kind of love grows roots and wings at the same time. Because the more you know yourself, the more deeply you can love someone else. And the more deeply you love someone else, the more clearly you see yourself reflected.

 To experience true love, focus on building genuine connections by first being true to yourself and practicing self-love, while also cultivating a relationship with others that is built on mutual respect, trust, effective communication, and support. This involves being open-minded, taking things slow, and allowing relationships to develop naturally, rather than forcing them or having rigid expectations about what love should look like.

John Gottman’s research shows that every time we follow through on our agreements, share affection and appreciation, and create positive future plans with our loved ones; we make a small investment in what he calls, our “emotional bank account.” There’s a theory that throughout our lifetime, we will fall in love three times, at three different stages of our lives. Each love feels totally unique from the other and teaches us something different that shapes the person that we becoming. The three types of love are the first love, the intense love, and the unconditional love.

The First Love feels like a fairy tale. While it certainly feels like true love at the time, it’s not usually the deep, raw love that you’ll experience later on. The heartbreak can feel immense, initially, but you usually recover from it quickly. That falling in love is the most incredible feeling in the world, but that not all relationships last forever, and they certainly aren’t always like they appear to be in the movies.

The Intense Love is the second love, and it’s usually the one that turns our world upside down. As we fall into this intense love story, the relationship becomes a mirror into our soul: we see all our insecurities, our needs, and our desires staring back at us. In this relationship, we may experience jealousy, fear, and self-doubt that we’ve never felt before. The relationship comes with massive highs and dramatic lows.

The Unconditional Love comes after we’ve recovered from the heartbreak of the intense love and we’ve begun to heal and cultivate self-love. The love, that comes from nowhere and feels just complete and utterly right. We feel more ourselves with it than we ever have before, and we constantly inspire each other to be the best versions of ourselves. This is the unconditional love that marks the beginning of forever.

The true love does exist and that it is possible to feel completely safe, protected, and adored by another human; but it requires continuous caring and nurturing.

 François-Voltaire, French philosopher and historian said “Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world.” Let's read about love and how to build and experience it in our lives and then dance in ecstasy of love, if we find it or build it; to thank our destiny which gives us opportunity to find, build and experience love despite our negative failing attitudes. Falling in love blindly is an attitude but living blindly in love may be fatal attribute. In the following, we shall read, about instances of being in love and to be loved; to learn how to build and experience love:-

There’s an old Turkish saying that goes:

*"If you truly love someone, you love them twice.

The first time, you fall in love with their smile, their voice,

the way they see the world.

But then… the curtain rises.

And you begin to see their scars, their fears, their gray days.

They are no longer perfect.

They are real."*

And if, despite everything, you still choose to stay,

if you can love them without filters, without illusions,

then it’s no longer infatuation.

It’s understanding.

It’s maturity.

It’s that love that doesn’t run away,

That stays;

and grows.

Practice self-care: Take care of yourself and find ways to fulfill your own needs before seeking them from a partner.

Be yourself: Being your true, authentic self is crucial for a genuine connection.

Become love: Cultivate love as a state of being that you can extend to everything around you, not just a partner.

Develop a relationship with another person:  Reveal your true self, even if it means being vulnerable, to allow for a deeper, more honest connection.

Build on a foundation of respect and trust: True love requires mutual respect, trust, and honesty from both partners.

Communicate effectively: Talk and listen to each other without judgment. Share your feelings and expectations openly.

Take things slowly: Allow the relationship to unfold naturally without rushing or trying to force milestones. Avoid playing games.

Be open and flexible: Release rigid expectations about what love "should" look like to allow for genuine connection with the right person.

Foster a loving environment; Show love and kindness to others: Extend love, empathy, and support to those around you. The principle of like attracting like suggests this will draw more love into your life.

Be supportive: Support your partner's passions and be there for each other during difficult times.

Maintain individuality: While being a couple, continue to have your own interests and activities. Avoid overstepping boundaries that diminish attraction.

We unfortunately live in a generation with men who have no idea what it takes to be a real man.

Let me give you a couple examples of a real man.

A real man asks about your day and genuinely cares about the answer.

A real man respects your boundaries and never forces you to anything you're not ready to do.

He makes time for you, and takes that time to learn and understand who you are as a person.

A real man consistently shows you the definition of effort with every day that passes.

He will call you randomly throughout the day just to check on you and your mental health.

A real man is undeniably committed to you and looks for new ways to fall in love with you with every day that passes.

He makes protecting your heart a number one priority.

A real man never makes permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.

He never confuses you on where you stand in his life.

A real man apologizes when he is wrong and stays true to his character.

He doesn't mind hurting other people's feeling to protect yours.

A real man gives you affection without sexual expectation.

A real man refuses to entertain any woman that isn’t you.

He has genuine intentions with you from day one and shows you how it truly feels to be a priority rather an option.

A real man will help you heal from the trauma that nobody apologized for.

A real man values you and would never put themselves in a position to lose you.

Take my advice and wait for the man that never lets you fall asleep at night questioning your own self-worth.

 A true love doesn't fade away in hard times or passing of time. Love is not a mere feeling of affection but it is the support which is garnered in every period of life including hard times and conflicts. It’s about loyalty, as love doesn’t have limits and it's meaningful and long lasting; it also develops and becomes steadfast in the face of adversities.

True love is a profound and genuine connection that goes beyond attraction, built on mutual respect, trust, and empathy. It involves fully accepting your partner for who they are, supporting their happiness, and feeling inspired to become your best self. It's a selfless, enduring, and often selfless commitment to grow together and build a harmonious, lasting relationship, even through imperfections.

We must remember that "To love and be loved" is a fundamental human desire that provides joy, connection, and a sense of belonging. It involves the act of caring for others and receiving that care in return, creating a fulfilling experience of both giving and receiving. This desire is often seen as a core part of a meaningful life, contributing to a sense of security, acceptance, and making life feel worthwhile. So let’s build and experience love so as to form a healthy society and nation.